Being 50 coincided with the pandemic and my only child being ill for a prolonged period of time. She is better but my sadness lingered. ‘The Life’s Change’ explores ageing, sadness and single parenthood through a series of self portraits.
Set within the constraints of the home (reminiscent of lockdown) domestic elements create the backdrop – the hearth, bedspreads, computer screens and mirrors.
In ‘Mother and Child’ I am holding where she used to breastfeed at a time when my fertility has ended and I am unable to help her.
In others, screenlight (evocative of candlelight in classical paintings) becomes a domestic twilight where anxieties are magnified. Making this series of self portraits although uncomfortable has helped me come to terms with the last two years.
1. Mother and Child
I am holding where my daughter used to lie when she was breastfeeding at a time when my fertility has ended and I am unable to help her. She showed remarkable resilience and now has recovered but but my sadness lingered and making this series of self portraits although uncomfortable has helped me come to terms with the last two and a half years.
2. Old Maid and Two Bedspreads
As a child in the seventies Old Maid was my favourite card game, I never thought I would be the modern day equivalent.
3. Zoomed In
Set within the context of the Zoom era and the anonymous digital world we interact with ‘Zoomed In’ explores self censorship on menopause and invisibility as an ageing woman.
4. The Change
What being 52 feels like.
5. Seeing Red
Domestic interiors dimly lit by screens are reminiscent of candlelight in classical paintings
Here I dwell in the rage and heat I experienced.
6. Twilight
Screenlight creates a manmade twilight before sleeping when we part for our separate rooms and connect with our own cyberspace. It is also the time of night when anxieties become amplified.
7. Deterioration
With the shock of my daughters illness my eyebrows all fell out.
2. Old Maid
Moving under a Victorian bedspread I have played with the symbolism of white representing purity and marriage.
9. Mutton Dressed as Lamb
10. New Found Peace (HRT patches).
